Where A Coach's Responsibilities END
So a few weeks ago I had a friend of mine go practically completely off the radar. They were sick of doing the whole digital marketing thing - frustrated by all the pushers, the fakes, etc.
I heard they were considering hiring a "business manager" to take LITERALLY 50% of their business and do lead gen and sales.
(tomorrow's email will be on hiring salespeople and why the common approach you hear almost always create a lose-lose situation)
Now I know my friend's value... Sharing their accomplishments would reveal their identity, but they easily command a $9,000 value for their transformational coaching program (when in front of the right prospect...). This person also has a high ticket course.
I hadn't heard from them in a few weeks so I reached out to see if they were alright. Were we even still friends? We used to spend time on the phone basically every week and I was seriously worried about the decision they were looking at making...
The first response I got was timid... but another prod opened a floodgate.
"I am very demoralized about my coaching. I have no sales. No revenue.
When you asked for help, I let you join my program because I love helping.
You started, then you stopped trying. And it made me feel like I've failed. Myself. You."
It was totally true. They had gifted me her program worth thousands of dollars! What a treat! And indeed I had started... then stopped. Fell off the bandwagon.
Then I had to explain something to her...
My reply:
"Friend, that is not a burden you need to carry!
XXXXXXXX, the guy who paid me $7500 to develop webinar strategy for him which he never implemented it.
My client YYYYYY went from health coaching to cancer coaching (for which I can’t run ads) after we built up her audience to 800 out of 1000 people needed to build a lookalike audience and she doesn’t know how to finish the job or leverage it.
Of the four people who bought my webinar course, 1 for a webinar out, then he changed his offer and hasn’t gotten back around to it.
I still have great relationships with all of these people. So great, I KNOW without a doubt they will hire me in the future. (In fact, one already did)
Guarantees are a great thing, but the work is not on the coach - It’s on the participant.
And you’re right! I haven’t valued what you’ve given me because I didn’t pay for it. When people pay, they pay attention.
It’s an act of caring to discipline someone and it’s also an act of caring to have them pay.”
(And just to clarify, I know you care and I myself will continue to exchange things for free :) )
Long story short: the results are not your burden.
I found myself in the same spot as you when August came, then I picked up a side gig with ZZZZ's company and learning how to REALLY generate my own leads changed my life.
Work gives our life meaning.
Do not feel ashamed that you needed or feel you need to look in other places for awhile.
LESSONS:
Lesson 1: Work gives our life meaning. You've probably had times when business is GREAT and life is fulfilling as a result of your work and your life pursuits... And that means you have something feasible.
What it does NOT mean is to quit when the going get's tough or that you and what you teach is worthless. That's jumping to conclusions.
If you track your time, you can look back over your own records and ask yourself... "What did I change from last month to this month that gave me these results?"
A lot of times the answer is pretty obvious.
My revenue was garbage in August. Why?
Looked at my time logs - Oh. I quit prospecting and posting in groups because I was focused on developing my course.... DUH.
And you never need to feel ashamed if you are seeking some side work while you figure things out.
Another benefit of tracking your time is knowing what kind of work is easy to sell and that you hate to do.
Selling page design is easy for me. I could pair up with a bunch of agencies tomorrow. But it's the least time-leveraged thing I can do so I only really do that when I need some quick cash.
You are not your business. You are not your hobbies. You are not your emotions.
You have inherent value as a human being (regardless of what religion you follow or don't follow). Let THAT be the guiding light for emotional stability in your life.
Wake up knowing you are worth something.
Lesson 2: When people pay they pay attention.
There are people these days that think spanking a child is abuse.
I call BS. Disciplining or intervening self-destructive behavior of a child, friend, or lover is indeed an act of love.
One of my greatest mentors, Steve, told me: "There is a gooey love, and there is a love that drives us to war."
Many times, offering something for free is a lose-lose. You spend your time and people don't get the result you desire for them!
In fact, much of the information I've learned I've gotten a hold of was gained as a result of strategic trades of my skills. Did I get the full benefit as if I had spent my own thousands of dollars on those things?
Nope!
And in fact, when people offer me strategic trades I even turn them down because I realize that in the end, I lose!
Here are two quick remedies:
Do your best to pay attention whether something is paid or free.
Offer people things for free, but only actually give it to them when they are in need of it.
Lesson 3:You do not carry the burden of your clients for DIY products.
This does NOT mean put out a crappy product and wipe your hands clean. It just means that if you make a guarantee like, "Do x and you'll get y results." and the person DOESN'T follow through, it doesn't make you responsible for them quitting!
It also doesn't mean you damaged the relationship with that person. :-)
As a coach, you are positioning yourself to make a claim on other people's results by providing them SOME of the information that helps them get there.
One of my clients did a 10k launch last month to their Facebook group.
I didn't make the launch happen. They did. I gave them strategy. They executed on content.
And if they didn't execute on content, it's not a failure on my part.
This is a team sport and(at least if you work with me)I'm going to be by your side practically any hour of the day(except when I've outlined in advance when I am not available)to make sure YOU GET YOUR STUFF DONE.
Also, don't discountpartial transformations.Sometimes all it takes for someone to get to the next level is one piece of information.
A book may have 300 pages, but it only takes a sentence to change a life.
Lastly, as a coach or consultant, your time spent ADVISING (not delivering) is non-refundable.
If I go and try a new kind of therapy and it doesn't work for me, I don't ask for a refund becausethey already spent their time with me.
You, as a knowledge worker, are afforded the same protections as other professionals.
THE DIRT:
Also. Here's something for you to chew on.
A lot of people who have a big image, who you think are doing well, aren't. And even they have clients who are unhappy despite the mounds of testimonials they convince you with on their sales pages.
How do I know?
Because many of the people who purchase from influencers come to me, tell me ALL about what happened, and then I fix their stuff!
Which means... You're probably doing a lot better than you think!
With loving-kindness,
-Matt Wright